Thursday, March 21, 2013

ThrowBack Thursday: The Girlfriend Edition


I had a dream about one of my girlfriends last night. She's going through a tough time right now, and in my dream she and I were in Chicago, laughing, dancing, never happier. We've have been to Chicago together before, many moons ago in another life, where we tried like hell to go out dancing but only made it as far as a subway station, her in high leather boots and me in a leopard tank.  Maybe this dream was an extension of that: that time's carefreeness mixed with today's girls women, her still rocking tall boots and me still obsessed with leopard. Or maybe it was simply an indication that everything is going to be ok, and she will be smiling again soon.


That dream has stayed with me all day. I've spent a good portion of the morning reminiscing about the girls in my life and how much they mean to me. Girls who I have known for decades, who have shaped me, who have helped build my past, and who understand and love me. 


I instantly get wary around girls who claim to not like other girls; who say they prefer a man's company to a female's. I don't doubt them, and I don't discount their feelings, but I don't share in their belief that girls are inherently backstabbing drama-prone bitches, either.   You get what you give, girlfriend.


And I learned early on to give.  There was a time when my insecure, starving-for-attention teenaged-self kissed a boy that a very dear friend of mine liked. More than liked- he made up a good portion of her life at that time. I never had feelings for him and I knew she did, but somehow those things didn't matter when he and I had a dance that led to a kiss which resulted in a broken friendship that lasted for many many years. I never saw the boy again but I missed that girl every day; I was overjoyed when she and I reconciled so many years later.


I've made new girlfriends in my adult years, but these old friendships are the ones I come back to time and time again. These are the friendships I know without a doubt will always be in my life, whether we're able to talk every day or only on the holidays, whether we have dinner once month or only see each other once a year.  

I found with new friendships, that the trust just isn't there, and we don't have the time, or energy, or desire to put in that work. So when the drama comes, as it always does in one form or another, there is nothing substantial there to help us weather the storm, and we bail. It becomes like we never knew each other at all, and we're okay with that.


But I am not okay with losing these girls. I'd be losing a piece of myself, my past.  We've been through marriages and divorces, through births and deaths. We've kept each other out late at the bar and then got each other up early for work. We've dabbled in drugs, learned about sex, and dealt with our mothers, together.


I won't be the woman I am today without them, and I hope each and every one of my girls know how much I love them.

20 comments:

  1. Awesome post Ami. Its so funny to me that we have had so many random intersections in our life since we were way way way young. Seeing Clay last weekend made me totally ache for some time with you. I'm glad that even after all this time, I have a girlfriend like you that I can always pick up where I left off with.

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  2. It's so awesome that you have been able to keep in touch and keep your relationships intact! I don't really talk to anyone from my younger days now!

    Ashley

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  3. Loving these side-by-sides! And it's so great that you've stayed so close!

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  4. Awe I loved this post! Thanks for linking up with us :-) following you now!

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  5. Those then-and-now pictures are so neat! And I totally agree with you about the "I just don't get along with other girls" girls. I mean - that's fine, I guess, and I understand it. But also I don't, because then who do you compare weird hairs with, and stuff? (;

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    1. Right?! There are some things that boys just don't understand.

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    2. Also, I just checked out your blog and I kind of love it. Except I have no idea how to comment. Is that on purpose? Did you purposely hide the comment-leaving-functionality from your readers, Elle?

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  6. Great post! I could never live without my girls there to help me out, and vise versa!

    xx Denysia Yu
    http://denysiayu.blogspot.com

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  7. This is one of the sweetest posts I've read all day! I LOVE it! Our girlfriends really are our soulmates :) They help us through so much in life! Thanks for linking up, doll!
    xoxo

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  8. Sweet post! Thanks for linking up today.

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  9. Love you Ami! And...your wonderful way with words might have me crying a little...just sayin'.

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  10. I used to think quantity over quality in friends, but as I grow up, its all about the quality friendships with my girlfriends; I wouldn't change those relationships for ANYTHING. Awesome post, chickie :)

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  11. what a fun post!!! shocks, i wish i can get a hold of my high school photos!! hahaha! :D

    Click me for my NEW BLOG

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  12. Wonderful post! I couldn't agree more with you about girls who don't like other girls- what's up with that? Every girl is different...the majority of girls I've met throughout my life have not been bitchy and that's mainly because I myself am not a drama queen and therefore I do not attract drama queens, haha. I guess I've been lucky.

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  13. This post melts my heart. I've always had a ton of male friends, but that never meant that my true girlfriends weren't near and dear to my heart. I consider myself to be very lucky to have a handful of women in my life that I know will always pick up the phone, will shed the tear that I can't, or will just be there. Girlfriends in general seem to get a bad rap, and its completely undeserved. <3 you and <3 this post.

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    1. I love you Cali. I plan to do a post dedicated to the friendships I've made later in my life and you will, beyond a doubt, be featured.

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  14. Oh this is just precious! I'd love to do one like this!

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  15. What a beautiful post. So important for us women to have close friendships with other women.
    I know I love and adore my friends and could not live without them.
    Sounds like you are an amazing friend.

    Pia
    pjmscloset.blogspot.ca

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